So I’m just going to say it: God did not create humans to be alone.
Let all the single, Christian Millennials panic right about… now.
I know, it’s awful-- feelings of inadequacy and anxiety wash over you with tsunami like pandemonium, it feels like the end of the world (at least yours), what is life if I don’t have a “significant other”, at the very least a satisfactory “prospective”. Your twelve year-old cousin has been dating the same guy since fourth grade and is still “going strong” with the Junior High Don Juan. You contemplate your ability to succeed at anything, (at life in general), at 2 am while staring at filtered Instagram pictures of happy couples posing in random fields of corn or whatever else is in for this year’s engagement photos… Blah, blah, blah… We feel your pain because we’ve been there. You’re 21 and life is already crushing in on you and any hope of establishing a fruitful marriage is dashed because you’re weird.
I’m kidding.
(About the hopelessness part, you might actually be weird, but definitely not hopeless.) And I’m going to tell you why.
Let’s all flip to Genesis chapter 2 (Hint, hint: it’s towards the front).
True or false: After creating Adam by breathing the breath of life into his nostrils, God gave him a helpmate quicker than he could say, “Eve”.
FALSE. It’s time for some team building with God, Adam. God is going for dynamic duo right now. *See Genesis 2:7
True or false: God established an intimate relationship with Adam and instructed Adam how to dress and keep the garden BEFORE he was given a partner. (AKA, homeboy learned how to MAINTAIN A JOB FIRST.)
And lastly, (you all are going to hate me for this one): Adam never ONCE begged God to grant him a partner in the first place because he had no conception of a helpmate aside from God anyway.
That’s also TRUE. Adam had all that he would ever need in God—emotionally, physically and spiritually. Eve was the sprinkles on top. Eve was God's original idea. Not ours. Eve was the wild card. (In more ways than one, as we find out later, but that’s another article/story.) If you don’t believe me—Genesis 2:18.
Now, this article is supposed to discuss “singleness”, which is always going to be an awkward subject to talk about, simply because of the faulty assumptions and misconceptions stemming from both sexes that have permeated popular belief as to why an individual is “single”, and unfortunately, Christians are the biggest culprits and propitiators of the negative connation associated with this word. But now that we’ve seen it in the word of God, let’s give each other break. There are some practical, healthy and necessary stipulations for singles that God requires us to work on and that’s ok if you’re working on them still.
In fact, please, take your time. Your future spouse is dependent on that.
And know this: there will be days that you feel like a penguin in a room full of lions. There will be moments that it seems everyone else in the world is speaking another language than your own and you question if you even remember how to speak yours. There will be times that you feel like an uncooked chicken leg.
Yes. An uncooked chicken leg. I mean that.
Raw, slightly unfinished, prickly, really, just an overall unattractive piece of flesh.
And the wonderful thing is, (and also, the reassuring truth is) that everyone else feels like butchered poultry sometimes, too. We wander like lost fishing boats on misty waters, knowing there must be other lonely vessels meandering through the fog of unchartered territories, but too unsure to cut through the density to create connection. And we ramble on. So let’s stop doing that. Let's stop using each other to gratify our emotional emptiness. That's just ugly and actually creates more gnawing emptiness than what you started with.
Wherever you are on your faith journey and whatever place you find yourself working in God’s garden, remember that this body of believers will always be there to work with you. True, you’ve got to maintain your own Eden and cultivate some healthy habits but we all work for the same husbandmen. Build some community and safe, platonic relationships that are motivated purely by edification and encouragement. You won't be as alone as you feel. Really.
So stop panicking (it really only heightens your unattractiveness) and stop using “single” like a curse word and start seeing like it was meant to be seen—a training ground.
A garden.
